Open Sentences on Honoring Our Pain

(30 to 45 minutes)

This exercise provides a swift and easy way for people to voice their felt responses to the condition of our world. Its structure helps people both to listen with total receptivity and to express thoughts and feelings that are usually censored for fear of comment or adverse reaction.

Method

People sit in pairs, face to face and close enough to attend to each other fully.   They refrain from speaking until the practice begins.  One is Partner A, the other Partner B – this can be determined quickly by asking them to tap each other on the knee; the one who tapped first is A.   When guide speaks each unfinished sentence, A repeats it, completes it in his own words, addressing Partner B, and keeps on talking spontaneously for the time allotted.  The partners can switch roles after each open sentence or at the end of the series.  The listening partner – and this is to be emphasized – keeps silent, saying absolutely nothing and hearkening as attentively and supportively as possible.

For the completion of each open sentence allow a couple of minutes or so.  Give a brief warning each time before it is time to move on, saying “take a minute to finish up,” or “thank you.”  A small bell can then bring people to silence, where they rest a few seconds before the next open sentence.

Here is a sample series of open sentences.  Feel free to make up your own, remembering to keep them as unbiased and non-leading as possible.

1. What concerns me most about the world today is…
2. When I see what’s happening to the natural world, what breaks my heart is….
3. When I see what’s happening to our society, what breaks my heart is…
4. When I think of the world we will leave our children, it looks like…
5. Feelings about all this, that I carry around with me, are…
6. Ways I avoid these feelings are…
7. Ways I use feelings are…

Variations:  

The Open Sentence format adapts easily to different situations.  

• With groups of organizational or professional colleagues, the sentences can help articulate difficulties without beating around the bush, as well as renew inspiration.  For example:
• What first inspired me to work for the Environmental Protection Agency (or become a physician or canvasser…) was …
• What I find hard in this work is …
• What keeps me going in this work is …
• What I hope can happen for us in this work (or organization) is …”
• In a workshop for couples, these sentences can be included:
  • I am sometimes reluctant to share my pain for the world with my partner because…
  • The effect of these feelings on my relationship with my partner is…
• Working with teachers or parents, this practice can include:
  • If I withhold from my children my concerns for the future, I do so because…
  • If I tell the children my concerns for the future, I do so because …
  • In talking with the children about the news, what I want is …