Count Your Blessings!

Count Your Blessings!

This practice was created by Jo delAmor in 2022 to support her WTR work with parents. Please acknowledge the source when you use any of these practices.

This practice was designed primarily for parents and people with kids in their lives, but may be valuable to explore with non-parents, as well. It is used in the Gratitude phase of the WTR Spiral.

Time: 20-60 minutes (depending on size of group)

Introduction

As we gather the ground of gratitude beneath us to support our New Paradigm Parenting journey, one of the most important tools we have is our attention. You may have heard it said (and it is true) that where our attention goes, power flows. In this practice we strengthen and bolster ourselves by consciously directing our attention to the blessings that support our lives and our children’s lives.

This practice gives us the opportunity to make the unseen seen. It encourages us to gather up all of the little (and big) blessings that we may typically take for granted and to breathe life into them with our conscious attention by making them visible.

If you are doing this practice in a group it’s important to remember that this is not about comparing blessings. Some of us have more than others in certain areas of life. Some of us have blessings we didn’t earn (privilege). All of us are struggling in some ways (seen and unseen). But we are all here by the grace of countless blessings, so, no matter who we are or how challenging our lives are in this moment, there are always plenty of blessings to count.

Method

In a group setting you can gather in a circle, perhaps around a central altar, with a supply of something beautiful (fresh flowers, silk flowers, leaves or tree bows, colorful ribbons, stickers, confetti, etc.) to place into the altar as each person takes their turn. You can also invite parents to bring physical photographs of their children and/or some of their own beautiful objects that represent the gratitude they feel for being a parent. 

Introduce the concepts above to the group and invite them to start tuning into all their little blessings, especially the ones they tend to forget or take for granted. Set the timer for anywhere from ten to twenty minutes (depending on how much time you have and the size of your group) and invite them to start sharing spontaneously, speaking their blessings into the group (if they choose) while they place one of the beautiful items into the center. It’s okay if people speak at the same time or if they choose to participate silently. This practice is more about bringing our own awareness to the blessings in our lives than it is about explaining them to others.

As the minutes go by and the blessings are shared, the center of the circle becomes more and more beautiful. This collection of beauty in the center of the circle can remain throughout the gathering as a reminder of the abundant blessings that support our lives.

Invite the parents in the group to share the joys, gifts, blessings, surprises, lessons, pleasures, etc. that they are grateful for in their parenting journey. They can share the awesome things about their kids or what they love about being a parent or the ways that parenting has changed them for the better or anything at all. Encourage them to call up some of the little things that might go unseen or get taken for granted in their daily life and bring them into focus here. 

It’s helpful to acknowledge that exuberant expressions of gratitude aren’t easy for everyone. And, honestly, they aren’t easy for anyone all the time. We all have times when gratitude is hard to access. And, as we become consumed with the unraveling and the tragedies of the world it can feel almost impossible to feel the gratitude. This is why it’s helpful to practice gratitude. It’s a muscle we can exercise and strengthen. In this practice it’s way more important to be authentic than it is to be overly expressive. So, before you begin, invite the parents in your group to just tune into themselves, their life, their parenting experience and feel the gifts and blessings of it all. And then just to express themselves in whatever way comes naturally to them. And let that be 100% ok.

Adaptation for Solo Practice

If you are doing this practice on your own instead of with a group, you may choose to create an altar in your home or pick a special spot to decorate with beautiful objects. Or you could get a collection of beautiful stones, beads or beach glass to place in a clear jar. As you tune into your own personal blessings say them out loud or in your heart and place something beautiful in your spot or in your jar for each one, watching the beauty gather and increase. Keep this jar or special spot in your home to remind you of all the little blessings that you might otherwise take for granted.

Additional Resources Similar WTR-style practices designed specifically for parents can be found in the book Raising Children in the Midst of Global Crisis and be experienced in Jo delAmor’s Parenting in Tumultuous Times 12-week program.